"I have to be alone very often.

I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That’s how I refuel."

- Audrey Hepburn.

WE LOVE YOU ASTON, WE DO.

WE LOVE YOU ASTON, WE DO.
WE LOVE YOU ASTON, WE DO.
OHHHHH ASTON WE LOVE YOU.

I've have chanted this so many times, both sober and drunk, this week it's crazy.

I'm pretty happy now, feeling lucky. Not only was I shitting myself about going to uni last week, but I was almost convinced that Aston Uni wasn't going to be the right place for me, and that I'd hate it.

But oh my god, it's so amazing so far! I feel so lucky with my floor and flat. We all get on in our flat and we're also close friends with two out of the other three flats on this floor, which is great, and we've even had an epic floor party that made it into the magazine already.

Freshers has been epic. I'm so sad that it's over. :( We have been so lucky with the aunties for our floor, Auntie Finn who is just an ace and laid back guy, and Auntie Kerry who is such a great laugh and she's really looked out for us. Most of the aunties fuck off after freshers apparently, but ours are still gonna hang with us. :D

It won't be the same though. I've been out almost every night but it's not that that I'm gonna miss. It's the seshes. I'm so used to having seshes every night with the rest of the floor and people from other floors and our aunties and other aunties (people clearly love our floor) playing epic drunk games which I love so much. I've learned so much before my lectures have even started ha. Punch party tonight was EPIC and free punch may be one of the best free things ever. Seshes have been my favourite thing so far I think. 50 of us sat in a circle playing simple drinking games whilst being forced to down our drinks by aunties after making simple mistakes such as drinking with your right hand rather than your left (also known as buffalo-ing) has been the best. And it WILL live on.

One. Fat. Frog. Jumped. Into. A. Pond. SPLASH.

I don't care if Freshers Week is over, I'm still gonna be Fresher Nat.

I'm gonna stop babbling now. But I had to get this down somewhere. I can't believe how much I was dreading uni, and it's turned out to be amazing so far. It's so weird, but so great. I'm a lucky girl.

I can now see why people say your years at uni are/will be the best years of your life. And it's already started. Still got four years left. It's gonna be great!

xoxo

WE LOVE YOU FLOOR 10, WE DO.
WE LOVE YOU FLOOR 10, WE DO.
WE LOVE YOU FLOOR 10, WE DO,
OHHHHH FLOOR 10 WE LOVE YOU!

sick of feeling shit.

I need to learn to keep hold of all those happy thoughts.

GONNA GET DRUNK.

REPEAL DON'T ASK DON'T TELL.

I am SO bored.

I miss my best friend. :(

hey remember that time

when you came to my house just to be with a friend because you were really upset about something? And you weren't ashamed to cry?

Well I wish I had the balls to do the same right now.

I wish boys could stop acting like boys sometimes

Ahhh I love my boys so much. I'm not sure what I'd do without them. They are some of my favourite friends ever and I'm going to miss them so much when I go to Uni.

But sometimes I wish they could be a little bit more sensitive, and caring. I'm not blaming them, it's just a boy thing, they can't help it. But I still can't help but hope for them to be like this sometimes. I've felt pretty crap and off this evening and I could hardly laugh or talk or anything when I was out with them, but not one of them asked if I was okay. Again, I'm not blaming them, but sometimes I just wish I had them there to ask that. Sometimes I just need a big long hug but it doesn't feel right getting it off them because they just don't seem to understand.

And now they probably all think that I've let them down tonight by not going to town. But I feel so down, and eugh, it just sucks. :( I just want everything to always be okay with my friends, so why was it different tonight?

FUUUUU. *cries*

I should have just been born a fucking boy. Bring on Brum.

so now town fails.

I have no idea, but recently I have really started hating town so much. This is town at night when going clubbing, not during the day of course, I love shopping.

I feel so stupid for hating it. Most people I know go out like every week adn get drunk in town and love it. I just don't find it appealing anymore, not sure I ever really did. I'm 18 and couldn't wait to turn 18 so I could go out clubbing, and it was fun at first, but now it's just shit.

But why am I like the only person who seems to think so? I have no problem with getting drunk (well, sometimes, when I don't humiliate myself..) I enjoy a drink, but town? Just, no. I only love it for the loud music and to see my friends, but I never seem to enjoy myself anymore when I go out. I much prefer to go to the pub or drink at a friend's house with others instead. There I can be myself, and I feel free. I feel comfortable. I can enjoy myself and we can all laugh together and add to the long list of good times. But town always ends up being awkward and I just stand there like a dick because I can't dance and because I know how shit I look compared to all the beautiful girls around me.

Am I weird?

I'm not saying it's going to be easy.

I'm saying it's going to be worth it.

fuck.

everything.

I really am so lucky that I have some people.